I also hope to catch up with my best friend Tara, who I haven’t seen face-to-face since just before last Christmas, as well as my niece (by phone, since her Skype somehow got hosed). Other than that, I have lots of Doctor Who DVDs, Stargate DVDs, and loads of reading to catch up on. Oh, and sleep to catch up on, as well.

I find myself feeling depressed tonight. I’ve made the mistake of thinking seriously about losing weight, and the reality is bogging me down, as I feared it would. But I must overcome it with positive thinking and self-talk. I’m good with the self-talk. I believe Gandalf called it speaking to the most intelligent person in the room. So here’s me being positive: I’m taking concrete steps to lose weight. I’ve modified my eating habits due to paying more careful attention to what I put in my mouth. I’m choosing fresh fruits and vegetables over chips and crackers, brown rice over noodles (except for the other day when I had a bowld of Udon noodles for lunch). Still, my rings and clothes feel tight, so I need to make a better effort. I’m still not as active as I’d like, due to continued pain from my leg and shoulder injuries, but I hope to do a little bit of walking, or at least housework this weekend. It’s a start.

I also think a good night’s sleep might help with this latest bout of depression. I find I sleep better when I know I won’t be awakened at 5:00 AM by my alarm clock. Just knowing I can sleep myself out makes it easier for me to fall asleep and stay asleep. I get a bit anxious about having to wake up early in the morning. I’ve never been a morning person, nor have I ever really been a good sleeper, so I kind of stress out over getting up before my body wakes up naturally (usually around 8:00 AM). I’m expected to be at work by 7:00 AM, mostly because I sometimes have to talk with my colleagues in Belgium, which is always a treat. They’re the kindest, most delightful folks. And how can I fail to be charmed by guys with French names, French accents, and who refer to me as “Dear”? I mean, really? The first time I was on an email one of them sent to a group of us and saw that we were collectively addressed as “Dears”, I just melted. Yes, yes, I know that’s just the custom, but I’m an American, and we’re not usually that charming. J’aime ces messieurs!

Hmm…I wonder if there are any movies out that I might like? I haven’t paid attention lately. Must look into it.

I have a four-day weekend and have no idea what to do with it. Perfect holiday!

This was the big question of the day for me, my business owner, and my editors. Should it be a struck-through letter “b”? Or should it be something people other than developers would immediately interpret as a space–when just, you know, the thing that results from pressing the space bar when you’re typing isn’t good enough? The answer we alighted upon was this: [space]. My idea. I like it. I’m not a developer, but I sort of  understand why just putting a space in certain bits of a message doesn’t communicate what it’s supposed to, so this, to me, says, “Here there be a space”.

But it launched a debate. Apparently, in other documentation in the company the struck-through “b” is used, but no one I asked remembered that…until a decision was made, and I sent out an email to advise the affected parties. Then someone remembered. Still, my business owner liked [space], and decided that–for his document set, at least–we’d stick to it.

Since then, I’ve been looking for some sort of documentation outside of my company that explains why struck-through “b” is used, and if it’s an actual standard practice. If it is a standard practice, where is it standard? Programming? Technical documentation? What? I’ve simply never encountered it before.

In other news: Parched again today. Dehydration by documentation. More of same planned for tomorrow. Can’t wait till the editors get done with my document so I can get back to writing.

Life Redesign Update

I had a very healthy spinach salad for lunch today. It had goat cheese and tomatoes on it to start, then I improved upon it with mushrooms, chick peas, olives, cucumber slices, olive oil and a bit of garlic. Yum! I followed it up with yogurt, and later in the day an apple and some baby carrots. (We’ll see how well I digest the spinach.) Good lunch for me, but I still can’t really do too much activity-wise because my right leg is still in a lot of pain from when I slipped and almost did the splits at Target. Ow. Hopefully, the combination of long weekend, anti-inflammatory meds, and rest will give my body the opportunity to heal properly. I look forward to walking and starting Tai Chi. Now, if I could just get my left shoulder to heal, too, that would be splendid.

I’m still not planning meals or cooking, which was one of my big goals. I intend to remedy that this weekend. However, my mom is going to try one of my old recipes for our dinner Friday evening: Slathering honey Dijon mustard all over chicken breasts and then baking them with a pile of sliced fresh mushrooms (knowing my mom, she’ll use the canned kind, though). In my version, whole, small red potatoes and fresh green beans go in with the chicken and mushrooms. I believe white wine was also involved in the concoction to provide a bit more moisture. Unfortunately, it’s been so long since I’ve prepared that meal that I’ve forgotten what oven temperature I used. I’ll have to ask my mom what temperature she used. Anyway, I’m looking forward to her version.

I’m also doing a lot of visualization, otherwise known as daydreaming. A fine pastime that helps me envision the end results–even the incremental results–of my efforts to lose weight and get healthy. But, as Dumbledore told Harry, it doesn’t do to dream and forget to live. Imagining myself at a healthy weight, all fit and fabulous, is all well and good, but it’s pointless if I don’t actually do something to reach that goal in reality. That’s the hard part.

Oh, life. Why can’t you be more like the Matrix–without those pesky machine overlords and jacks in the backs of people’s heads. And bad dialog. And bad writing. OK, forget the Matrix. Why can’t life be more like Doctor Who, between the bits when monsters are trying to kill the companion? Am I the only one who thinks it would be awesome if Claudia or H.G. Wells from Warehouse 13 and maybe the Fargonator from Eureka were the next companions? …Oh. OK. That is just me. No wait! Noooooo…Dr. Stark from Eureka! I’d like to see the Doctor condescend to him! Maybe they could wander around the T.A.R.D.I.S. in towels.

OK, perhaps a bit too much visualization.

Tonight, I charge the iPod. Maybe I’ll even take the charger to work and jack it into my computer. You know, just to be on the safe side.

I know what you’re thinking: Hey, Kath, why didn’t you just listen to Pandora all day, like you did before Helen gave you her old iPod? Because, when I plug my earphones into my computer, I get this really annoying buzzing sound that cannot be drowned out, even by the Pandora Punk station.  That’s a helluva a noise if it can overpower The Sex Pistols. So, no internet tunes for me, alas.

Oh, but I have muzak on my phone, too. My phone, that my earphones cannot plug into. Yeah. That phone. Now, I could have been the bad colleague and just let the music play, sans earphones, but I’m too nice. Unlike the woman on the other side of the cubicle wall who hangs on conference calls all day long–loudly–and speaks in corporate buzzwords and clichés. She keeps saying she’ll “reach out” to people and “socialize” them to whatever thing she wants them to understand. My buddy in the cube next to me and I keep a running tab of Buzzword Betty’s vocabulary. We want our boss to have a word with her boss to socialize him to the wondrous modern marvel known as the conference room. Where polite meeting participants hold their conference calls. So other people can get their work done without wanting to commit seppuku. But our boss wants proof. He wants us to call him over when she’s on a call so he can hear for himself how irritating and distracting she is. Gee, thanks for the trust, Fearless Leader.

It’s like the mythical Chinese water torture, only with clichés, which for a language nerd like me, is far worse. On the bright side, my colleague and I are having fun playing Buzzword Bingo when concentration becomes impossible.

So here’s me, reading documentation so dry it makes me thirsty, and with Buzzword Betty barking on and on about socializing and reaching out and circling up wagons. I retained nothing of what I read, and I have to finish that doc and read the second one tomorrow. And review them both. I am totally not doing it without the iPod. No way, no how, nuh-uh. I can focus through music, but not through human chatter.

Two more 10-hour days then a 4-day weekend for me! Yay! I believe I will chill. Yes, that sounds like the perfect plan.

Bad Universe is educational TV with cool comic book graphics and lots of explosions. The Mythbusters must be proud. And really, don’t explosions make everything cooler? Yes, they do, but honestly this show would have had me glued to the TV without them. Not that I want him to stop blowing stuff up, or anything. Please, more kablooie!

I learned a lot watching Phil and his scientist pals explain the different types of asteroids and then blow up stand-ins made of the same materials. Phil even made his own little comet and tried to divert it from hitting imaginary Sydney, Australia, and failed. On the bright side, I now know how to make my own comet. Fun!

I really hope this show gets picked up and we get lots more of Bad Astronomer Phil and his genius friends debunking Hollywood junk science and blowing stuff up.

Did you watch the show? Did you love it? Do you want more Phil Plait? He has a blog! Read it and be enlightened.

I turned 45 this year. Another year of being profoundly disappointed in myself and my life. I’m obese, I have very little money in the bank (despite being gainfully employed), I’m sedentary, I’ve all but stopped writing for fun, and my reason for getting out to do enjoyable things (my niece Rachel) moved to Florida in May. I have no drive and no energy, which is compounded by chronic depression, a disease I was born with (I was diagnosed at the age of four).

Depression colors my entire existence, it informs everything I do or say, every decision, every plan, every thought…everything. So as someone with that disease, deciding to change my life for the better is a bit more complicated than it might be for normal folk. At least I’m fortunate in that I don’t have any physical limitations beyond what years of being sedentary and obese have imposed on me. My limitations are almost entirely psychological.

I think I stopped liking my life after 9th grade, so when I was about 15. There were great things that happened, and I loved being with my friends and family. I was still going out to find enjoyment–seeing The Empire Strikes Back and The Return of the Jedi when they were first released are highlights for nerdy me! My family were also still taking annual vacations to Hilton Head Island, SC, each Summer. There were highlights, but overall I wasn’t happy.

I didn’t really begin to actively loathe my existence until about 1995. That’s when I had what they used to call a nervous breakdown. I call it dying without your body getting the memo. I don’t think I’m fully recovered from it, even now, but after years of medications and therapy I think I might be almost there. I don’t feel like I live in a dark pit anymore, at least. I don’t have to fake it when I’m expected to laugh at something or smile. Oddly enough, I never lost my own ability to be funny. It seems, the more miserable I am, the funnier I become. Let’s hope the opposite isn’t true.

That’s all I’m going to say about the disease in this post but I’ll probably revisit it in future posts about my personal redesign. Lofty title, isn’t it? What does it mean, though?

Weight Loss

The most important goal I have is to lose the excess weight I’m carrying around. It has caused health problems ranging from high blood pressure to hypothyroidism. I’m constantly tired and have numerous aches and pains. I have no energy to speak of, and it hurts to walk for any distance. I’m only 5’4″ and weighed 245 pounds the last time I stepped on my doctor’s scale. I know how I gained so much weight: I’m a comfort eater and I’ve never been very physical. While my late sister was wanting to play ball outside when we were growing up, I wanted to stay in my room and read a book. Or go outside and read a book. I could often be found in the crook of the willow tree in our back yard, reading a fantasy novel. I have always been utterly a nerd (and proud of it, thank you very much). I didn’t look the part, though: I was slender, yet curvy, had long blonde hair and big green eyes. I also had a big personality, so although I was told the boys in my class thought I was hot, they were also terrified of me.  Still, the light saber battles in the school library and the D&D games were lots of fun. I went to a nerdy school.

Being obese is devastating to my self esteem. I hate shopping for clothes. I hate looking at myself in the mirror: The person I see inside of me isn’t the person looking back at me. I still see 23-year old me and I feel like I’m in my twenties, too. Not physically, mentally. Now I just need my body to catch up. Which is to say, to be healthier, fitter. I know that at 45 my body will never be what it was in my twenties; nature simply doesn’t allow for that.

According to the government, the healthy weight range for a woman of my height, build and age is between 115 and 145 pounds. I’d ultimately like to get back to my high school weight of 135 pounds. Along with that, I want to have better muscle tone and physical endurance. Here’s how I’m going to do it:

• Improve my eating habits. I’ve chosen to follow the American Heart Association’s “No Fad Diet”, which is basically eating healthy, well-balanced meals.
  • This means I need to start planning and preparing meals, something I haven’t really done in years. I used to love to cook and hope that passion will return. I have a tiny galley kitchen in my apartment, which will make it mentally difficult for me to really get into cooking. I like to spread out when I cook, so I may need to get around my kitchen claustrophobia by doing preparation on my kitchen table instead.
  • A good thing is, at work, they’re committed to healthy eating: There are signs in the cafeteria to direct you to healthy choices, and they’ll even deliver fresh fruit to your cubicle! There’s a nurse’s office down the hall from me, too, so I can weigh myself there if I want to. I can also monitor my blood pressure with the machine outside of her office.
  • I need to eat more fruits and vegetables. I’m a carboholic. I love pasta, crackers and bread. I can eat spaghetti. loaded with cheese, every night for an entire week and never tire of it. Just spaghetti. No veg on the side. I love vegetables and fruit but find it hard to incorporate enough of them into my day. It doesn’t help that I have trouble digesting things now that I never had trouble with when I was younger. Salad: Out of the question. Corn: Forget about it. Even my beloved broccoli does embarrassing things to my digestion. According to my doctors, there’s nothing wrong with my intestines, stomach or colon. My primary care physician is pretty sure I have Irritable Bowel Syndrome, which limits my choices.
• Incorporate activity into my daily routine. The company I work at makes this pretty easy, actually: They have walking trails with signs to tell you how far you’ve walked. There’s even a huge fitness center. I also have a fitness center at my apartment complex, which is free to me as a resident (I’d have to pay for the one at work since I’m a contractor, not an employee). Furthermore, my previously non-walkable neighborhood has since become walkable, with destinations like Whole Foods, Target, and a number of restaurants that have opened up within a mile of my home.
• Set realistic, modular goals. Saying I want to go from 245 to 135 pounds is overwhelming. It’s a massive goal. Saying, however, that I want to lose 20 pounds by year’s end (4 months from now) is more realistic and attainable. That works out to about a pound a week. If I think of my big goal in small pieces, I can mentally grok it, and for me that’s the biggest challenge of this project: Conquering my lifelong psychological obstacles. Anyway, it’s easier to contemplate climbing a hill than climbing a mountain.
• And most importantly to the psychological aspect of this project: Have a diet buddy. I need someone to encourage me, share recipes and, especially, keep me motivated. My diet buddy is my good friend and fellow nerd Helen, across the Pond. She’s a web developer and fantastic cook, who wants to lose the weight she gained after getting married last year. Helen will be doing the Weight Watchers plan, which worked well for her and her husband the last time they wanted to lose weight (it was cute for me on my visit to England to watch Joe very carefully weigh out his precious chocolate to make sure he didn’t go over his points for the day). We will each be blogging our experiences and cross-linking each other’s posts with our own. Here’s Helen’s first post about us being diet buddies on her blog, Helen’s Adventures in Cooking. Come for the diet stories, stay for the awesome cupcake recipes.

Finances

When you fail to see the point of planning for a future that you’re convinced can only be as dull and bleak as the present, saving money isn’t a priority. I’ve always been an “in the moment” kind of a person, living from paycheck to paycheck, never saving up. I even tried having a 401k once, but had to cash it out when I became unemployed in 2009. That’s also the year I filed for bankruptcy and had a car accident that left me with some medical bills that rolled into the bankruptcy, but others that wouldn’t. This year, I’m gainfully employed in a job I love, but the insurance isn’t working out too well. I chose a limited plan, when I meant to choose a better one, and a pair of sleep studies exhausted what Aetna will pay for my healthcare this year. (Don’t get me started on the American health insurance system; we’ll be here all week). I now have about $6000 in medical bills to pay off, $300 per month. Obviously, I can’t keep living like this. I can’t have unemployment wipe me out within a month. I also want to be able to travel at least once a year. I now have relatives in Florida, but I can’t afford to take off work to go down there (my company doesn’t offer paid vacation).

Here are my plans to redesign my financial life:

• Immediate small goal: Save $500 by the end of the year. I expect I can save more than that, since after paying all of my monthly bills, I have more than that left over. However, what I said in the previous section about the positive psychology of setting small weight loss goals applies here. Aim small, hope for big.
• Set up a bank account dedicated to bills. This was Helen’s suggestion and something that has worked well for her and her husband. I plan to pop into my bank sometime this week on the way home from work to set it up.  Of course, I first need to figure out how much I pay out each month for things like rent, utilities, cable, internet, phone (including a robust data plan), medical, food, and gas. I travel much farther to work than I did in my previous job, so the monthly gas bills are much larger than I was used to. I also need to plan for incidentals and emergencies, so the “bills” account will need padding.
• Cut back on the amount of “nest padding” and “comfort” purchases I make in a month. I find I shop when I’m stressed or unhappy (which is most of the time). My nest is lined with books and movies. These are the great loves of my life, so I’m not going to stop buying them. I think that would be asking too much of me, mentally. It’s not too much, however, to ask me to cut back, or rely on things like Netflix, Hulu, or iTunes for movies. I find it costs me less to buy a movie I like on iTunes than it does to buy the DVD from a shop. Furthermore, it’s more portable: I once got stuck waiting an hour in the doctor’s office and spent it watching an episode of Doctor Who on my iPod. (There’s another thing I have to thank Helen for: It used to be her iPod.) I also have a weakness for jewelry, making World Market the bane of my existence. I can’t go into that place and walk out with less than $40 worth of things with beads on them. Me and my beads. And DVDs and books. Comic books, ye gods, I need to cut back. Curse you, Mike Mignola! (And while we’re on the subject of addictions, curse you, Russel T. Davies and Stephen Moffat!)

Writing

Perhaps you noticed that the last post to this blog before the one you’re reading now was in March. My poor old website also had a good start at a redesign a little over a month ago, but I never finished. These used to be my happy fun time. I loved to write. It’s a hobby I’ve had since I was a child, the perfect companion to my love of books and stories in general. I love telling stories and being told stories. It started with my parents reading to me as a child. They taught me to read when I was three, and while television was the babysitter of choice for other moms, the library was my babysitter. To this day, I can feel my blood pressure drop when I enter a library or bookstore. It was my comfort zone, the place I associated with fun as a child. This is where imagination lived, and I never really left it. I hope I never do.

But my own writing–writing for myself, not an employer–has fallen by the wayside. I read a quote once that said if you only write when you feel like it, you’ll never write. It’s the truth: I haven’t felt like writing, so I haven’t made myself do it. I need to get back to it. I once had 4 online stories going at the same time, posting a chapter a week to each, and I loved it. It was fun, but I let myself slack off, and slacking led to stopping. That ends now.

My writing goals are no less modest than my other goals for the redesign of my life:

• Post regularly to this blog. Whether I post about my life redesign, or about lessons learned as a technical writer at work, reviews of TV shows or movies I’m watching or books I’ve read, my goal is to post something here each evening after I get home from work and have settled down. I need settling after work. I have a stressful job, lots of brain work, lots of problem solving–all of which bring me a geeky sense of accomplishment–but my brain is going a mile a minute. I need to slow it down and force it to shift gears before I can write something other than supporting documentation for test cases or migrations or software releases.
• Don’t just talk about stories that have been knocking around my skull, write them. Put outlines, character and setting descriptions into concrete form. Write enough of the story to have a buffer before posting anything online. Yes, I write stories online, though one day I would love to be published. I don’t have any silly delusions of being the next J.K. Rowling, but it would be neat to be published.
• Push my own boundaries. I usually write fantasy, science fiction, and comedy (in a fantasy or science fictional setting). I’d like to try other genres, even other formats. I’ve traditionally done long form stories, finding it hard to keep my ideas confined to less than a couple thousand words. I’d like to try to write a short story, or even a script. Just something a bit different from my usual. I might also like to try my hand at something my mother might like to read. She hates my usual genres, even going so far as to discourage me from writing. She once suggested I might outgrow it. It was years before I could tell her how damaging that had been. It would be cool to write a book or short story, have it published, and have my mom read it and actually like it. Miracles happen, this would be one of them.

Socializing

I’m a recluse, plain and simple. I interact with people at work and with my family in person, and my friends (mostly) online or via text message. I have one really good friend in town, the others live in other states or countries. I go to work, or shopping. When my niece lived in town, we’d go to the Science Center, the botanical gardens, or the zoo. I don’t even go to the movies anymore unless it’s something I can talk my mom into seeing, which rules out the sorts of movies I usually like. On the other hand, I’ve seen a lot of chick flicks I’ve enjoyed but probably wouldn’t have picked out on my own.

I don’t actually like being around people. I may enjoy their company while I’m with them, but, except in rare instances I come away feeling mortified, as if I’d made such an unforgivable fool of myself that I never want to face those people again. I hate parties for this reason. They’re stressful, and I go home feeling like I want to hide under a rock for the rest of my life. The people who know me are often astonished to discover that I’m actually painfully shy; I’m just a pretty good actor and do a good job of overcompensating.

That’s just wrong.

Perhaps continued exposure to people in a social setting will get me used to the idea, and I may actually start to dig it. Therefore, I will join a group. A book club, perhaps, or something to do with movies. Maybe I’ll volunteer at the library and give back for all those years I spent loving their children’s programs. I do love to read to kids. In any event, I will join. I will interact. I even have this silly notion of taking up swing dancing. I can’t even describe how I feel when “Moonlight Serenade” starts playing. I want to be at a 1940′s-themed swing club, dressed up like one of the Andrews Sisters and slow dancing with a cute guy dressed as a G.I. This may be the result of too many World War II movies and a certain Doctor Who episode with pretty people slow dancing atop a spaceship parked against Big Ben (I’ve never wanted to be Rose Tyler so much as just then–or when she was running around time and space in a little blue box with David Tennant, but I digress). Of course, I can’t walk in heels, much less dance in them, so maybe not dancing.

Now, I don’t expect miracles. Unlike my mother, I don’t believe just losing weight and pulling other aspects of my life together will make it all better, but being healthier, more financially secure, and having a solid hobby will certainly help. I already have a support network, but broadening it wouldn’t hurt. The rest is medical, and I have doctors for that.

So wish me luck. The greatest obstacle to my success is me. I’m terrified, but determined. And I have a diet buddy to chastise me if I make quitting noises. Just for good measure, I might rope my local friend Tara into it, as well as my mother, who’s always happy to have something to mother me about. It’s a win-win for everybody!

Special Features

First, I have to get this off my chest: What in the heck did they do to Sheppard’s hair for the cover of the third season DVD boxed set? Plaster? Hot glue? Shellac? And he looks like he’s about 20 in that picture.  OK, I feel better now.

Mission Directive: Sateda
The inside scoop on the making of the episode Sateda, including the focus on stunts and why the writers felt they needed to do an episode that demonstrated the team’s bond.

Inside the Stargate Atlantis SFX Department
Interviews with the people who make a TV show look like a feature film every single week, and some behind the scenes stuff about their process.

Audio Commentary for No Man’s Land
Producer/Writer Martin Gero and Director/Supervising Producer Martin Wood. They tells us that a goal for season three was to have more character moments and show the gelling of the team. And have awesome action sequences that show off what they can do with a limited effects budget. They also point out the places where they saved money by reusing footage from the second season cliffhanger. This was also the first use of their new Wraith hive set; they like this version so much better. The give props to Joel Goldsmith, who creates the amazing music for the series.

Audio Commentary for Misbegotten
Executive Producer Paul Mullie and Director/Supervising Producer Martin Wood. They discuss the benefit of having the actors talking to each other live when they have scenes with one person in Atlantis and the other at the SGC. They can play off each other. The story is about resolving the moral dilemma from the previous episode (turning a boatload of Wraith into humans). They also talk about how mindful they have to be when writing the Woolsey character to avoid the temptation to make him the guy who always disagrees with our heroes. They tried to make him more interesting. As for Michael, they note how he acts more Wraith-like when he’s interacting with Wraith or talking about being a Wraith, and more human-like when trying to interact with humans.

Audio Commentary for Irresistible
Director/Supervising Producer Martin Wood and Director of Photography Michael Blundell. First, the difficulties of shooting scenes in the puddle jumper. It’s hard to light. Ah, that nice shot outside the jumper window is rear screen projection. Looks convincing. We get a lot of information about lighting and shooting from Mr. Blundell. They both love Richard Kind, who played Lucius. They like the script; I guess somebody had to. Oh, they think we need to look past the “date rape thing” because it wasn’t in the minds of the writers or actors. Sorry. Can’t.

Audio Commentary for Sateda
Executive Producer, Writer and Director Robert C. Cooper and Director of Photography Brendon Spencer. They talk about the set pieces of the episode, which made it a much bigger and more expensive episode than usual. They used certain movies for frame of reference (aww, but don’t tell us which ones). I totally agree with them: This episode was more like a feature film. Mad props to the crew. And mad props to Jason Momoa, the fearless workhorse…or is that, enthusiastic puppy? He was game for anything. Despite all of the action pieces about Ronon, Robert Cooper says the scene that tells what the episode was about is the one with Tayla and John on Deadalus. Cooper blames the writers for the Atlantis team not seeming to gel in the way that SG1 did.

Production Design & Photo Gallery
Self-explanatory.

Ronon does the action hero walk (Photo from GateWorld.net)

Sateda

Written & Directed by: Robert C. Cooper
Guest Starring: Frank Collison (Keturah), Chiara Zanni (Melena), Curtis Caravaggio, Mitch Pileggi (Stephen Caldwell), Alexandra Carter (Linor), Dan Payne (Wraith Leader)

WARNING: SPOILERS ABOUND!

Summary
A Wraith makes Ronon a runner again and hunts him on Ronon’s devastated homeworld of Sateda.

General Impressions
This is Ronon’s day in the sun episode. It’s filled with flashbacks of his life on Sateda before the Wraith came. It’s also the episode where the team proves to Ronon that he really is one of their own and a part of the expedition. I believe this is also the episode in which they introduce leather jackets for our heroes. Yum!

Oh, I love this episode so much!

The Good
Post-apocalyptic Sateda looks fantastic, right down to the desiccated corpses of Ronon’s people. Seeing the dead, who had no one left to bury them properly, just left where they’d been fed on, was a powerful image. What must it have taken for Ronon to take the equipment off of one his fallen comrades for his own use?

The action movie shot: Ronon walking away from an explosion with the flashback PA voice saying, “Sateda will not bow to the Wraith…” Awesome piece of editing. In fact, the editing is amazing throughout. This episode is more like a movie than a TV show.

This is an action episode, but also manages to be a character episode. It also has that good old Stargate dash of humor, mainly from McKay (as usual) and Beckett. “Gluteus Maximus…THAT’S MY ASS!”

The Bad
I can’t decide if this is good or bad, but I’m listing it under bad because the episode does enough to show the team’s loyalty to Ronon; having the characters talk to each other about how loyal they are was a bit heavy handed. Why it might qualify as good is, it’s interesting to hear each character’s perspective on their relationship to Ronon.

The Awesome

Learning about Ronon’s past via flashbacks. It’s nice to see him as more than just “the muscle”, the guy who grunts and shoots. Learning more about him, makes him more sympathetic. We also get a taste of Satedan culture, and see through flashbacks how they fought the Wraith on their last day.

The whole team chips in to save Ronon: Sheppard convinces Caldwell to take them to Sateda in Deadalus. Rodney locates Ronon via the Wraith tracking beacon. Tayla runs and guns with Sheppard to kill the Wraith hunting Ronon. And Beckett kills the super Wraith with a drone and takes the tracking device our of Ronon’s shoulder (again).

On this show, this almost goes without saying, but the effects and music in this episode are simply, indescribably amazing.

Crowning moment of heartwarming: Ronon hugging Beckett for shooting the super Wraith with a drone. Also a crowning moment of awesome for Beckett.

Rating
10 out of 10, despite the lapse into telling, on top of showing.

Michael's human again (Photo from GateWorld.net)

Misbegotten

Written By: Joseph Mallozzi & Paul Mullie
Directed By: Martin Wood
Guest Starring: Connor Trinneer (Michael), Robert Picardo (Richard Woolsey), Scott Heindl (Merrick), Gary Jones (Walter Harriman), Brahm Taylor (Lathan), Mitch Pileggi (Steven Caldwell)

WARNING: SPOILERS ABOUND!

Summary
Since turning one Wraith into a human and lying to him worked so well before, our heroes decide to do the same thing to an entire crew of Wraith…with predictable results.

General Impressions
Wraith are sexy. Wraith turned into humans are still sexy. It must be the hair. I just had to get that off my chest.

The expedition screwed Michael over before, and they’re screwing them over again. Michael is such an interesting character, thanks to well-written dialog and Connor Trinneer’s performance. When he waxes philosophical with Tayla early in the episode, it’s painful. He’s the best thing about this episode, which sets up the trouble Michael will cause the expedition and the Pegasus galaxy later in the series.

The Good
I had issues with what they did to Michael, and I have even bigger issues with them doing it to a crew of Wraith. The difference this time is, I’m not the only one who has issues with it. Most notably, Woolsey calls Sheppard on it, pointing out the obvious: The former Wraith will never be allowed to fully integrate into human society, even if Dr. Beckett can make his treatment work without frequent injections. In this episode, unlike the episode Michael, there are consequences (and I don’t mean the bad wigs on some of the former Wraith). Some of the consequences don’t show up until later in the series, but they start here.

The B story of Woolsey questioning the people in Atlantis to evaluate Weir’s leadership is actually interesting. I like Robert Picardo, and his Woolsey is utterly a bureaucrat. We also get insights into other characters by their reactions to his presence and purpose in Atlantis. Sheppard bristles at Woolsey questioning Weir’s decisions, and Caldwell tells Woolsey point blank that he doesn’t have to answer any questions because he doesn’t answer to the I.O.A.

The Bad
Could they possibly do more to turn Michael against them? First they turned him and the other Wraith in his hive into humans, then they try to nuke them, and then they try to blast them to death from space. Nice job, heroes.

Is Ronon really this much of a one-trick pony? All he ever does is grunt and shoot. And look hot in leather.

When they’re trying to figure out why a hive ship is heading for the planet of former Wraith, why doesn’t anyone suggest the obvious—that the former Wraith are reverting and summoned the hive ship to get them off the planet? I guess sometimes it’s necessary to toss the idiot ball around for the sake of drama.

Again with the “Oh no! They’re all dead! No wait…they’re in the jumper.” Nobody ever dies for keeps on this show.

The Awesome
Connor Trinneer. Period.

Rating
8 out of 10. Consequences are good.

"Not only does the drug make them want to have sex with me, it also makes them want to get boob jobs!" (Photo from GateWorld.net)

Irresistible

Story By: Brad Wright & Robert C. Cooper
Teleplay By: Carl Binder
Directed By: Martin Wood
Guest Starring: Richard Kind (Lucius Lavin), David Nykl (Radek Zelenka), Julia Anderson (Willa)

WARNING: SPOILERS ABOUND!

Summary
A man with a potion that makes him irresistible to others charms everyone in Atlantis except for Sheppard.

General Impressions
Creepiest Atlantis episode ever. So there’s this guy who uses a magic pheromone potion to force a bunch of women to be his wives and concubines—essentially, his sex slaves—and by the end of the show, nobody seems to be too disturbed by this. Not even Tayla or Dr. Weir. What’s wrong with the writers on this show?

The Good
Nice scenery shot through the traveling jumper. It was very convincing. And the town where they find Lucius is very pretty.

Sheppard is saved by a head cold. I wish my head colds could save me from something scary. All mine do is make me miserable.

The Bad
Uh…date rape drug with no consequences, anybody? Nasty. I loathe this episode in more ways than I have the energy to type.

The Awesome
Richard Kind is a tremendous character actor and he’s really funny—and pretty disturbing—in this episode.

Rating
1 out of 10. Sometimes I wonder about the writers on this show, I really do. Date rape drug that everybody seems only mildly embarrassed about, rather than horrified? For real?

The hives are coming! (Photo from GateWorld.net)

No Man’s Land

WRITTEN BY: Martin Gero
DIRECTED BY: Martin Wood
GUEST STARRING: Connor Trinneer (Michael), Robert Picardo (Richard Woolsey), Kavan Smith (Lorne), Tamlyn Tomita (Shen Xiaoyi), David Nykl (Radek Zelenka), Gary Jones (Walter Harriman), Brahm Taylor (Lathan), Scott Heindl (Merrick), Christopher Heyerdahl (Male Wraith), Andy Maton (Chapman), Mitch Pileggi (Steven Caldwell), Beau Bridges (Hank Landry), Andee Frizzell (Wraith Queen)

WARNING: SPOILERS ABOUND!

Summary
Two hive ships are en route to Earth, John Sheppard is M.I.A., and Ronon and Rodney are set to be Wraith fodder. Will the Wraith reach Earth? Is this the end for our heroes?

General Impressions
Rodney and Ronon are prisoners aboard a hive ship on its (long, laborious) journey (that will probably take weeks, what with the stops the hives need) to Earth, giving our heroes ample time to figure out how to stop them. Or the IOA to think Dr. Weir needs to come to Earth for a grilling in the middle of a crisis. Or the Deadalus to catch up to them. Or Michael to resent being treated like a second class Wraith and tell Sheppard where to shoot (you didn’t really think Sheppard was dead, did you?).

The Good
Ronon’s hot when he’s all imprisoned and stuff. Oh, who am I fooling? He’s hot all the time. Someone tell the Wraith they need to rip his shirt off before feeding on him. Make him snarl some more and fling his dreds around. Ronon flexing his muscles = Good. Ronon have hidden knives and cutting his way out of the human-holder just to shut Rodney up. OK, he was escaping, but he really did seem to want to shut Rodney up.

Lots of Zalenka. Lots of Caldwell. Lots of Connor Trinneer.

Rodney downloads porn. I thought Rodney was dating someone? Does that make any difference?

The Bad
This entire enterprise was ill conceived on the Wraith’s part. Even with upgraded hyperdrives how long can it take those hives to get to Earth, and how many stops do they need to make. Did they pack enough food? What happens when they run out of humans? Do they turn cannibal? If so, what do they think they’re going to do with two overtaxed hive ships with depleted, hungry crews? Can they get past the Ori ships that are in our galaxy trying to convert the masses? How about the Goa’uld? The Jaffa? The Lucian Alliance? Earth warships? And what do a couple of boatloads of Wraith think they’re going to accomplish against more than six billion well-armed, far-from-docile humans?

And why are we so afraid of two hive ships that we can summon allies to help us destroy? Or of two hives ships of Wraith vs. the armed forces of dozens of nations? I had trouble taking this peril seriously. Perhaps if there was evidence that those hives shared their knowledge with the others, and the others were also on their way to Earth. That would be totally scary.

After all the time we’ve invested in this series, painting the Wraith as extremely intelligent and clever, we have them head for Earth in two hive ships. Two hive ships that have to stop a lot along the way because they’re organic technology and have to recover from each jump, leaving them vulnerable to interception at several points along the way by Earth warships, which are faster than they are. Not to mention the issue of provisions. Where do the Wraith think they’re going to get more humans in the long, dark stretch of (probably) uninhabited space between galaxies?

Me? I want to see the Wraith get to the Milky Way galaxy only to have the Ori fleet shoot them out of the heavens when they refuse to accept the path of Origin and prostrate themselves for seven hours a day chanting, “Hallowed are the Ori!” That would fun. Or maybe a Wraith will try to suck the life out of a host, only to have Goa’uld symbiote jump into its hissing mouth and take control over it. Or maybe… Sorry. I just don’t understand why everybody gets all worked up over one or two hive ships heading for Earth. Don’t even get me started on the series finale.

Boy am I tired of people in charge being half-wit, confrontational jerks in the Stargateverse.

What? Sheppard is the only person on Deadalus capable of flying an F-302? Really?

Michael saves their bacon, and they’ll still screw him over in the next episode. Sometimes I really hate us.

The Awesome

Oh what a gorgeous space battle! I love what drones do to an enemy ship. It’s so pretty. Not to mention that amazing view of the galaxy (Milky Way? Pegasus?) from the dead-in-the-water Deadalus.

Space battle! (Photo from GateWorld.net)

Dr. Weir eating the IOA for breakfast, and General Landry knowing it. Go, Elizabeth! Elizabeth trusting Tayla once again to mind the shop while she’s on Earth. I’m glad at least someone in the expedition remembers Tayla’s leadership skills.

Major Lorne getting a command and being a hero. Yay Lorne!

Rating
7 out of 10. I can’t let go of my inability to take two hives ships seriously as a threat. But points for an awesome space battle and all hands on deck! Good to see Stargate Command again.