Meetup Me

One of my redesign goals is to socialize outside of work. My first step in that direction was seeing The Expendables with my BFF Tara a couple weeks ago, but that’s really small scale and incredibly safe. I’ve known Tara for 30 years (holy crap on a cracker), and we have this really relaxed, no fuss, self-maintaining relationship. Safe as safe can be.

My other outside of work socializing involves dinner and cards at my mom’s once a week. It also used to involve going somewhere fun with my niece, but she moved to Florida, reducing my social fun to two people. Sad.

Regarding workplace socializing, our group has the delightful habit of having wine tastings after hours. My horizons have been greatly broadened by this, since I’m more a beer/ale/stout kind of a gal and usually leave the wine tippling to my mom. I’ve since begun to sample wines I would otherwise not purchase and am enjoying them (not too much, though; I’m a sick drunk).

My goal is to socialize with brand new people. People I don’t interact with everyday, haven’t known for most of my life, and am not related to. Toward that end I, She Who Fears Groups And Social Situations, joined a Meetup group. Those of you who don’t know me well have no idea just how gigantic a leap into the abyss that is for me. I honestly do not feel comfortable in groups. I don’t like parties, they leave me drained, panicky, and slightly ill, feeling like I never want to see those people again as long as I live, for I have surely behaved in such a way as to repulse them utterly. Is this the old school nerd curse? Possibly. Is it shyness and insecurity? More likely. You’d never guess it, really. I overcompensate. I pretend to be a confident, outgoing person–and people are actually fooled by my performance.

I might be in the wrong line of work.

Having said all that–and feeling very, very proud of myself for JOINING something–the group I chose is, for me, safe and the obvious choice, really. It’s my first love, my greatest passion, and involves my favorite nesting material: I joined a Meetup book club. I’m also looking into one for writers but will probably end up in one for movie lovers first, since I’m not actively writing anything. Then again, a group of other writers might be the kick-start I need to meet that redesign goal of mine. I wonder if there’s a comic book or manga one–or would a comic book one be all superheroes and none of the indie stuff I so adore? Would it be full of people like Comic Book Guy on the Simpsons? Or people just like me, who aren’t misogynist, condescending, know-it-alls, but are pretty nice, ordinary folks? (Most likely the latter, I’m sure.) Ooh, or a sci-fi group? Oh, the possibilities for scaring me back into my cave are endless!

I’ll start small. One group. If I like it, maybe just one more. Don’t want to overdo it.

The downside is, the next two meetings are already on a waiting list. No matter. I’ll read the books, anyway, for the pure joy of reading books I’ve wanted to read but haven’t yet. Just in case I make it off the waiting list for one of the meetings.

I’m kind of excited but, really, more scared. Still, these are book people, and I can’t think of a better common ground than books. When I can actually get into one of the meetings, I’ll blog about how it went, and if it did, indeed, drive me back into my cave. Or make me want to go back for more.